ending this blog

i'm shutting this blog mainly because i'm getting stalkers here...

it's kinda creepy how they read my personal entries.....

Many Firsts

This is one of the reasons why I hate daylight savings. I lose one hour of sleep =.= and I had placement that day! So I had to wake up early and try and find the branch cos I can never find it.

 

I posted on my facebook status saying that the one thing that got in my way was the gate. Ppl posted to knock the gate down but I know I can't lol.

 

Because the gate is the gate around the police academy.

 

That's right. The branch is somewhere inside the police academy.

 

When I got there, there was one open gate. And a sign saying "no unauthorized persons allowed" confused as ever, I decided to park outside the gate and wait. Waited for 50 minutes (I was munching on vegechips while I wait) and finally a car came thru the gate and drove around. I followed but I lost the car XD but there were signs saying "ambulance" so I followed them. After a long drive, I finally found that car XD

 

Around 7:10am there was still no truck and still no partner. One of my crew members, who was just qualified to be a paramedic, predicted that he probably forgot to adjust the clock. Which I almost did until I checked facebook when I couldn't sleep XD but 5 mins later, we got a partner.

 

We all expected the day to be super quiet. Night crew came later and we did our usual car check.  We also expect that we get no job at all cos it's a Sunday. Lol one of the crew members said I could go home cos I had an exam to do the next day and an assignment to do. But I decided to stay, I brought my laptop with me do I can do my assignment anyway, and I know I'll do no work back at home. And my family don't expect me home til 5pm.

 

Talked a bit to the newbie paramedic and she was flipping through the tv guide and she saw the last page being a ad for one of those 'real life looking' dolls and the doll is a baby monkey wearing clothes and came with a free dummy

Newbie paramedic: *covers the price* omg how much would you pay for this?

Me: um.. *stares* about…… 50?

Newbie: *reveals the price being 49.99* that plus postage and handling.. it looks hideous!!

Me: o.o (well I can see the hideous part) it kinda does…

Newbie: what would you do with it?

Me: I would put it in a pram and tell everyone I have a baby. And if they come and ask "is it a boy or girl?"  and then they'll look in the pram to see a hairy baby and freak out.

 

The best part of the branch is that there was an arm to practice IV cannulas on! It looks like it wasn't used in a while (it was clearly obvious when the wax was peeling off when I insert the needle in). I usually insert the needle 1/3 of the way in and I should see blood coming out. But in this arm, it didn't work!

 

The crew members went to play with the arm too and stuck needles in different veins. And there was old equipment in the box too that I was like 0.0!!

Newbie paramedic: have you seen one of these before?

Me: *shakes head* nope I've only seen the longer ones

Newbie: well it's a bit different then the new ones.. I'll show you

*pulls packaging out, slides the cannula off the needle and then there was this click sound and a medal piece was attached to the sharp end of the needle*

Me: D: what's that!??!

Newbie: it's so you don't get poked by accident… but they don't make these anymore cos it's too expensive. *tries to poke herself*

 

Omg it was soo cool!!

 

*sees the partner with a massive black box*

Partner: let's see if you can do LMAs *opens the box*

Me: *excited* 0oh you got those manikins like the ones in uni!!!

 

Then he pulls out another box of bits and pieces, which also got some old equipment as well, so I was having a play with everything I could find. The partner was teaching me techniques and we managed to kill time for over an hour.

Partner: So.. you are called to a cardiac arrest patient. And you see him lying on the floor. What do you do?

Me: check for dangers!!!  (I know he's not expecting that sort of answer but I said it anyway)

Partner: ……………. And then?

Me: check for response~~~

Partner: ……… ok.. so you're shaking and shouting.. what's the next one

Me: airway!!

 

At 11am, we went off for a lunch break. Went to a bakery and the bread and rolls were massive!!! I just bought a bacon and cheese roll. We went back to the branch and we ate our lunch there and started chatting for a bit. The convo didn't really start well….

Newbie: so do you have any brothers or sisters?

To be honest I didn't mind so much it's hard to lie and say I don't have one cos of the nephews confuse the whole plot. And I VERY rarely say it but I couldn't help saying "I HAD a sister", which just confuses her even more, so I had to admit the whole thing… her poor face was literally like my emotcon 0.0!!! her eyes went huge! And she was like "OMG I'M SOOOOO SORRY!!!"

 

Our partner wanted to snooze but we had a call. It was dispatched as a 6 year old female who fell on her head. My first paediatric patient!!

 

We were all thinking of scenarios in our heads but we didn't get any further info. When we got there, it ended up being a very minor injury that didn't require an ambo at all =.= she was a bright girl. And the poor brother was in tears cos it started when they had a fight and he pushed her.

 

After that we went back to our branch, certain that we won't get any more jobs! So I took my laptop out of my car and started my assignment. The crew was distracting me by having a convo. And we were all discussing about how technology changed over the years. I was doing 2 things at once, and typed and talked at the same time. But I was mainly focusing on the convo lol. Talking about old computers and mobiles, then turned into cassettes and CDs and DVDs and now Blu-ray and all. I think it started with facebook XD and how they think that you should tell everything on facebook. And then the phone in the branch started to ring.

 

It was a call to go to the ferntree gully branch cos they predict that the next case would be around ferntree gully. On the way there we got a case to go to Lysterfield! Another long drive. Patient has gastro and diarrhea. When we got to the nursing home the newbie gave me a face mask, which I'm guessing were used for the swine flu period. It was quite fiddly to put on cos it's not like the normal face masks dentists or other ppl had.  The nurses were quite reluctant to go near the "gastro corridor" (they said that themselves) but they followed anyway. Omg the mask made it so hot when I breathe I felt like I was going to suffocate x.x it was a bit hard to talk too.

 

The patient was again, looked sort of healthy compared to patients her age. She could take a few steps to the stretcher, swing her legs on her own and obeys what we say. She was the only patient we took to hospital. I think we drove to angliss. We even had a request to go to a different hospital because it was 'convenient for the son' (?!?!) we do things that best for the patient!!! The granddaughter came while we were treating her. She seemed very close to her grandma.

 

Finished that job and we were on our way back to our branch I think when we had a dispatch to a car accident involving a 3 year old kid. And it was near angliss. My first MVA (motor vehicle accident) and that safety vest that I carried this year paid off. The accident wasn't as bad as we imagined….. in fact… they didn't need an ambo anyway… =.= the poor 3 year old kid was the opposite to that 6 year old girl we had earlier. He wouldn't let us touch him!! Our magic tricks did not work. And that 'glove being a chicken thing' that we learnt in uni was fail!! Blowing up a glove and pretending it to be a chicken just made the situation worse! We had to stay around til the car gets towed. The other driver, who ran thru a red light wasn't hurt.

 

We finished that job around 4:40pm so it was HOME TIME!!!!! At 4:55pm we turned into the street that the branch was and we had a freaking call!!!!!!!! And this was where my crew got MAD!!!!!!!!!  Computer said something like "cardiac arrest – probable death" or something like that. and it was in freaking OAKLEIGH!!!! Which is about 10-15 min drive with light and sirens. My crew was swearing every 2 seconds!!!! I never had a crew that swears this much! We were indirectly saying over the radio if they can cancel it but we had a call back saying we cant =.=""""" far out!!!!!  And then the computer updated and said "CPR REFUSED – CA PATIENT" meaning the patient has cancer.

WTH?!?!?!?!?!?!?! We're driving just to waste time!! We can't do anything but to do a MICA job and do the hard job of confirming the patient is deceased. MICA wasn't there yet =.= the crew was swearing even more!!!! And it continued when we saw the fire brigade and the police there.  The person that called looked peed off that we were the last ones to arrive. Which is understandable…. If that happened to me, I would want the paramedics first… not the fire brigade @.@

 

It was sort of my first time seeing firemen for more than 2 seconds. Holy crap! The guys were like.. twice my size. Big. Bulky. VERY muscular XD ok lets not go there. :P

I still feel intimidated by the police lol couldn't help staring at the gun that was strapped on to the thigh while thinking in my mind "shouldn't guns be less visible instead of showing it off to the public?"

 

The neighbourhood looked like they're close too. Neighbours come out and see what was going on. I was off on my own with the keys to the ambo to retrieve the spine board when I had to cross the road and a car pulled over in front of me asking if everything is ok. -.-""" "yes everything is fine" (geesh.. nosy ppl)

 

We had to stay around for a long time cos we had to get details and all for our report and then its HOME TIME!!!

Newbie: hop inside and we'll have a chat (serious tone)

Me: ok!! (I sounded cheerful for some reason.. I was sort of on a high after 1.5 hours of sleep I guess)

*hears her slam the door* (oh shoot… I think I landed in a trap…) *newbies hops in the truck*

Me: ……..*is scared* (I mean.. WHAT did I do wrong??!?!?)

Newbie: how did you feel?

(0o0o0oh… one of THOSE convos. Not again!!!)

Me: I'm fine~~ I'm perfectly fine!!!

Coincidentally after the case the song 'last day on earth' was playing on the radio. That's the second time it done that…And it was one of those songs that shouldn't be played in moments like this. I find it quite annoying. Even tho I love the song but now wasn't a good time!

Confusion and pressure

I self destruct every relationship so that i don't get hurt... but in truth i just hurt myself worse in the long run..

 

It has come to the realisation that I'm at the age (or rather I should really say phase…) of……

 

….well…. getting a partner I suppose?

 

Or in one word… love.

 

To me, 'love' is interpreted in many different ways. There is 'love' as in passion or something you like eg. Food/animal/etc. that's the word I always say. The other 'love' is "love love" which pretty much relates to…. Love/romance (ok.. that "love love" thing is something I made up.. ) something I very rarely say. Or not say at all.

 

Now let's keep in mind that this is what I SEE so far.. I know there are many definitions of 'love'.. a lot more than those 2 mentioned cos right now, I'm getting the feeling that when readers read at this point, they're gonna track me down and give negative comments and say, "stop being so idiotic and naïve and get a life etc"

 

Now this "love love" part is the issue where it's making me lock myself in my house and not come out anymore. and as the title says, I am feeling confused and pressured by all this.

 

Now let's start with PRESSURE:

 

… I guess it's self-explanatory. But flipping through facebook, I see that almost all my high school friends now have a b/f. slowly I see my friends are getting paired one by one. Everywhere I go I see people walk in twos. It's like, in my face all the time!!!! I feel more of a loner and an outsider. Even in my own class cos I got no friends (well very few.. one or two) but pretty much on my own 90% of the time.

 

Sometimes I ask myself if I should just blend in. but everyday when I look in the mirror I see someone that no one would want. Who would want me anyway? I see a somewhat rude, dirty and unattractive girl who has conversations with a dog and a laptop to take her away from reality. She barely talks outside that it's no surprise if she's referred to as, "the mute one". She has shame over her looks that she doesn't want to wear dresses or skanky tops (which are the latest summer fashion) because she's been through so many looks and remarks from the public over the obvious mark of hideousness on her shoulder. Some ppl may think it's 'unique' but the only special treatment she gets was, "excuse me but did someone put kerosol on you and light you or something? Cos THAT'S not normal"

 

Why is everyone pressuring others to be normal? What is normal?? How is remaining single and unmarried for the rest of your life NOT normal!??!

 

And the confusion part?

I remember mum once saying when I was 12 that I must not befriend a guy until I was 18 (which I of course broke at 14 lol but she gave an exception) and I must not have a b/f until I was 21.

 

Yet she's giving me hints that whenever I mention a guy-friend she wants to have a closer look and always ask "is HE your boyfriend?"

 

"of course not mum" is what I say next.

 

Recently she's reminding me of how ugly my face looks when there is the slightest red spot on my face. This got my annoyed and frustrated cos I don't have the time to look after my face and literally told her, "I DON'T CARE MUM!!!!! NO ONE WANTS ME ANYWAY!!!"

Mum: I just want you to look pretty (I know what she was thinking at the back of her mind >.> looking pretty for a boy)

 

And now? She's bugging me with hugs and kisses every week and going "you're my pretty girl"

 

(FARRRRRR OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I'm not pretty anyway >.> I don't carry any attractive trait at all. My sister took it all. I was the ugly duckling ever to crawl the earth.

 

The confusing part is that I don't know if my mum wants me to have a boyfriend or not. If so, is it now? If not, soon there will a stage where she will need to let me go. Can't live under her roof forever. I remember last year when I was with mum in a small room for her to get changed into a gown so she can have a CAT scan and she need to be injected with… something. We came to this conversation with the nurse about marriage and children and stuff and the nurse was like, "I have a daughter who's 35 and she's not married! She still lives with me. sometimes I want her to move out of home so I can retire. It's so fascinating how children grow up so fast. But not her! She doesn't seem to want to leave the house!"

 

And yesterday (Thursday) I am now prepared that in my career, the main topic in a convo with a patient and yourself would be:

 

Children/marriage

 

"do you have any kids?"

"are you married??" *feels through the glove to find a ring on the left hand*

"I have __ children. __ boys __ girl. I don't like the girls. The girls always go away. The boys are better"

Blah blah blah blah blah blah

 

Shoooooot….. imagine me in 10 years time getting those questions!!! Well the first question is easy I guess. It's a simple no xD

 

 

Now in conlusion, what would I do? Right now I'm and waiting. Tho I am starting to lose confidence. I don't know if I want to remain the oddball or just be happy that I'm an oddball!!! I am personally against those dating sites that keep spamming my hotmail and facebook. I am not THAT desperate. And it's a phoney. I don't trust those sites. Doesn't sound very romantic to say, "oh we first met though a dating site" I guess my time has not come. But I kinda wish I know my fate so I can get some weight off my shoulders.

This is who I am - Vanessa Amorosi

sorry don't have the lyrics cos i wanna make sure that it's 100%

Half-asleep, lot’s of lols and wth?!?!?!

I should warn that this blog would have lots of errors.. even tho I'm using Word to type this… there could be phrases that make no sense at all.

 

Another (and third) placement. This time at Waverley, which was literally a 5 min drive from the social night venue XD

 

I did end up going to social night, even tho I said I woudn't cos of placement. But  I always get like 5-6 hours sleep the night before placement cos I think a lot, so I thought I might as well burn some energy and collapse on the bed the night before placement.

 

Social night was worth it. Food was fantastic. Better than other caterers cos I was actually full for once. But did end up feeling a bit tired cos I woke up early to prepare.

 

Anyways…  I hardly slept last night cos I kept waking up in the middle of the night. I had to wake up at 5:30 and head to Waverley =.= I wish I could wag but I can't!! >.<

 

For some reason my gps was stuffing up.. it planned to go on eastlink without warning me of toll charges. Changed the setting to go via "wellington rd" which gave me a route to go to monash fwy. So I used that route. But for some strange reason as soon as I'm on wellington road, it wants me to do a u-turn and go to eastlink o.0 and I checked the text to see further directions and it still going as planned. So I don't know what happened there.. got so annoyed of that gps that I turned it off and used my melway.

 

Got there early as usual but I didn't see any night shift crew cos there was no cars in the carpark. So I just waited and listened to music.

 

Someone came like… 10 mins later and we both went in the branch. It's bigger than the other branches I went to. More trucks (Box hill, Syndal and a clinic truck) but our Waverley truck isn't there…

 

Night shift crew turned up late cos they had to go to backup the monash crew or something… and not long after we checked everything, we got a call (woah.. not like a 3 hour wait like the other branches).

 

So we sorta done our work and took this patient to the hospital, watched them do one handover to the nurse at the entry (as always), transferred the patient to another bed and one of my crews was like, "now you go tell the nurse exactly what I said"

 

Me: ?? *looks at the nurse standing there waiting* WHAT!?!?! ME DO A HANDOVER!?!?!??!

Nurse: I'm not gonna bite you…. (by the way she said that, she looked like she was gonna bite me >.<)

 

Gah!! It was soo bad T.T I need to find a mnemonic to remember handovers. *sob*!!!

 

But that was over… on the way back to the branch and we get another call.

 

For the first time during placement, I was scared cos they drive freaky!!! Might be exciting with all those lights and sirens but they were like going on 80 on a 60 zone!! And the road and turns aren't as wide and I was clinging onto my seatbelt praying that we don't slam into another car x.x I don't think I have the guts to drive a massive vehicle at that speed and dodging cars. I like my own small car

 

And then and then.. we wanted to have a meal break~ drove to a bakery, which also sells pies and what not so I bought a shepherd's pie and a choc cookie. I've been craving for shepherd's pies for a while now. The choc cookies has from muesli in it so it tasted funny. I wanted to bake cookies for the Waverley branch but I didn't have eggs T.T

 

I was pretty sleepy after.. the 3 case I think that I leaned my head against this green cushion-ie bag that carries some airway management equipment and slept a bit. I wasn't paying attention to the radio and I wasn't paying attention to the crew talking lol

Driver: so what you hear on the radio comes from ALS-

Passenger: she's asleep

….. I could hear them but I was too sleepy to respond lol

 

The paramedics workstations at the hospitals are quite funny. Some hospitals have a drawn cartoon on paramedics, someone scribbling on the bulletin and I took a photo of 2 signs next to each other lol. I'm pretty sure the hospitals did that lol and there were a few scribbles on those signs as well XD. In one hospital someone pinned some massive gangster bracelet that has several skulls on it and there was a sign on it saying something like "challenge for all night shift crew: if you receive a prize that's better than this one then pin it on the board" and there was an arrow pointing to the "prize" and said something like "I also got *some* mask (or something..) that went with it but I wanted to keep it for myself!!"

 

We finally had a bit of a break. But that prob lasted about 15 mins until we got another one. Which was non-emergency.. I must've been really tired cos I bumped into their pool table =.=""

 

On the way to a non-emergency job, there was a song that the crew liked and turned up the music. I, of course haven't heard. Forgot what it was called but they told me to listen to the song cos "it's a classic" so I was listening very carefully to the lyrics and I had no comment =.= we got to the place we wanted to go but the song was still going and we just stayed in the truck til the song finished lol it sounded like it was in a musical or something

Driver: do you know what the song's about now?

Me: … yeah….

Driver: *goes on about what the song is about*

It was such a weird song..

 

But yeah we got to the patient who just needs to be transferred to hospital and it was pretty funny

Paramedic: [making the bed higher so it was the same height as our stretcher] anything bothering you atm [insert name here]?

Patient: yeah

Paramedic: and what's that??

Patient: ……you!

Paramedic: ……

Doctor: lol!!!

 

Took him to Alfred… it was a long drive and the hospital was soo big. A nurse passed the ID bracelet to me and asked me to put it on him. My initial thought was "I'm not a nurse" XD I kept fiddling with it to see how to put it on.

 

After that, I tagged along with the driver and helped him with putting the sheets on the stretcher. After that, I got asked if I know how to use the stretcher, and I told him that I was still used to the older (painful) stretchers. Showed me how to take the top part of the stretcher off. And there was an IV pole attached to the stretcher which I didn't know.

 

Driver: try assembling the IV pole be yourself

Me: ………………….

 

I was twisting, pulling, trying to find some obvious cues but it's wouldn't move!!! The driver was having a convo with another paramedic  and eventually that paramedic saw what I was doing to the stretcher. Lol there was this long pause. I was shown how to do it (finally!!) and in the end, I didn't pull/twist hard enough!!! Grr I need more strength in my hands!!!!

 

And that day was sooo hot!!!! It reached about 29 degrees but there was cool wind. And I was like flapping my sleeves to get some cool air in. my uniform is thick and my sleeves are quite long.

 

And that was our last case~ it was a long drive back cos it we coming back from Alfred. My contacts were annoying me cos I didn't had time to clean them. I was so tempted to take them off and throw them away!!

 

But it was a long day but it was pretty fun… got along with my crew… and I was so so tired.

 

Me: mum~~~ can I go sleep *watches her cook diner*

Mum: eat dinner first!

Me: T.T

 

Finished my dinner and then asked her again if I can go sleep. So I went to bed at 7pm