Passive learning?

Well I suppose it’s not really learning… it’s more of a realisation.

But…. in the past since the sudden impact, I knew I had to lie. Slightly change my personal info.

It’s been going through my head over and over. Like rehearsing my speech.

Out of the several occasions of “who’s in your family”, I only managed to very small percentage who believed in my lie. The rest of the time I felt guilty during that and I had no choice but to tell them the truth.

Reason why I chose to lie was cos I don’t want the people asking me feel bad. I don’t need any more condolences. They do have the right to ask. And I’m getting sick of using the word ‘in-law’. I’ve been having that more than 50% of my life now.

Today after my nephew finished school, I took him over to tennis practise. And he got the court where there was no shade provided or seats for me to sit on. And I got bored watching him far away cos I can’t have a clear view of him playing. So I walked over to the fence and stood next to another female.

“is your kid in St Judes?” she asked.
“yeah…” (kid….i’m used to it. And it’s very common….first thing you think of is kid no?)

And then we were chatting. Mainly she was blabbing on about her two sons and that tennis couch. It was my first time watching him play. She was pretty sociable.

And she wasn’t afraid of hiding a thing.

I later learned that while the youngest of the son was a newborn, the father left.

It’s quite terrible being in her shoes. I’m quite amazed that she’s pretty strong.

After that it was nice talking to her.

I later learned that there’s no need for me to lie anymore.

It’s awesome talking to the mothers while I wait to pick up my nephews from school. We like to share stories and chit-chat. And sometimes I do learn from them.